A new boy is sponsored in the community

Ssekandi has been our newest boy to be sponsored by Mr Lasse, a gentleman from Sweden. He will ve able to go to school start from next week! Thank you very much Mr Lasse, I hope to see you in Uganda very soon!

Poultry Factory Built

The factory now only lacks its final touch of putting on doors and bringing in chicks in seven days. We have faced so many difficulties in having it built. The new challenge is the chicks. Let us all work for the success of the factory! 

 

Writing after midnight.

The biggest obstacle for me reading in front of the centre is the mosquitoes. They have their rendezvous around me, where it is, from my point of view, neither secret nor romantic. But it is productive. I was put off by the amount of malaria tablets my GP gave me in the UK, but have got used to taking them every day, though occasionally forgetting taking them for the maximum of two days.  

The evening whether in Kampala is more like England now. Chill with light rains. When I stayed in the balcony located on the second floor of the club from where John works, glancing the hills and forests where Makerere University, I instantly recalled the time when I was in the UK where the whether was seemed specifically designed for me-not too delight, not too melancholy. Well, i have to say that the music in his club is one of the unbearable things in life.

A Short Note Before I Leave for Town

Two Israeli volunteers came to the centre this morning as scheduled. The room is filled with kids now doing paintings, crafting and sports activities. Tal, one of the volunteers is keen on family visiting. She has been so dedicated on the job she was assigned and could not wait but going to the community once she arrived.

I'm going to town to prepare fund for the drinkers, feeders and other facilities for the chicks which will be brought here on Sep, 7. Madame Josephine has gone to consult the price of the chicken mash. We will do the final calculation this early evening I suppose.

Michal has told us a potential business deal for the women group, which makes beads, from Israel. I will do the assessment tomorrow no the group's production. Maybe several other products may be added to their production line. All of the ladies who are in the women group are from extremely poor background and most of them are very active in what they do. I'll meet them tomorrow to see what I can do for them, for the business and all of us.

I have given my laptop to John two days ago to help him with his job as a DJ. He was so happy, so was his uncle who is the manager of the club in which John works. His uncle asked me yesterday after John briefed him about what I did, "do you have a religion?" I said no after a short hesitation(It is very rare in Uganda for a person not to have a religion). "But you are a good man," the gentleman concluded after hearing my answer. Then he hugged me.

By the way, John earned 20000 Uganda shillings two days ago working just for two hours with his new laptop. Lucky Guy!!

Singing...

Choir rehearsal is to be started in an hour's time. I just finished working on a song with John, Bring Him Home from Les Mserables. Since he wanted me to improve his singing, I had chosen this song for him to sing. It is a hard song and I now regret of the decision. I just remembered this song is included in a Grade 8 singing syllabus back in the UK.

We spent nearly two hours working on just two phrases. I have to admit sometimes my ears are sharp and my heart does not normally tolerate imperfections in music. Though I love imperfections in life, but for music everything is different. I love the moment when one can put each component of a piece at its right position at the right moment. That is where God reveals the eternity of life. That transit moment creates eternity in mind.

Knowing how to sing oneself and teaching others to sing are completely different issues. When I see the manuscript, usually songs from musicals, not Schubert or Mahler of course, I normally know instantly how the song has to be sung. The tempo, the phrasing and the structure just come naturally at hands. But for someone who has never sung before or who has sung in a reckless way, I always find hard times to convey my ideas. When John was practicing under my instructions, one could always hear me saying, "John, listen to the accompaniment", "You're late in the beginning of this phrase and early when it ends" or "this part you should make the audience feel falling rapidly and then a immediate slow down following afterwards". Sometimes it is so hard to tell him what I mean rather than demonstrate. If words can express music, what is the meaning of music then?

But anyway, here is the link of the song, Bring Him Home, from Les Miserables.
Bring Him Home by Gary Morris

it's a quite good version since it is actually selected from the complete recording of the musical. So it has the flavour of songs from the musical. Sometimes when a singer performs a song as song, not as one of the songs from a musical recording, then the feeling of the piece may completely be altered. But the irony is, the general public would prefer to listen to a song as a song when they only listen to one song or a collection of songs, but a song as a part of a musical when they are listening to a complete recording. Therefore, Gary Morris's version may not be as welcoming as other versions on the net, but has the originality which only can be realised when the whole musical is played.

Some Other Literary Notes

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Henry David Thoreau

It has been a long day and writing new post each day on the blog has gradually become my habit. The good thing of possessing the habit is that writing new posts nowadays does not take much thinking-one just need to write some words done which make sense to the people, the same words which are also true to one's conscientiousness. I feel like writing the introduction of Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Confessions, but I do realise my lacking of eloquence. I remembered the time, like six or seven years ago,  when I first read Rousseau's works, which were some articles including 'The Social Contract' and 'On Education', his logical reasoning inspired me so much. I can barely remember now how he put his words, but what left in me was the ideas he was trying to convey hundreds of years ago. Such encounter through history is something in which I was so fascinated. He seemed to be talking to me face to face while I was reading his words and more real than anyone around me at that time.

Federico García Lorca

Rainer Maria Rilke

Sigmund Freud

Whenever I mentioned Rousseau, I had always to address the one with a similar difficult name, Henry David Thoreau, who wrote a famous book in Walden. Maybe it was because I read them at nearly the same time. But I read Federico García Lorca, Rainer Maria Rilke and some of Freud's works at that time as well. Reading those authors' books in China and in my family at that time was something fanatic and I was treated badly because of that. Please don't take me as name dropping here since each name has had its unique and important meaning to me and there would be many more names if I try to list them all down.

Since this post is turning more into a personal literature review, it will not be a sin to bring up a name which I have not talked about to others for a very long time-Jiddu Krishnamurti, the one who completely changed my life.

Juddi Krishnamurti

If I have to choose among all human beings whom I have encountered in life and who gave me the biggest influence, I have to say it was him. I read nearly every book he wrote which I could get in China at that time. I have subsequently in the past six years recommending his writing to numerous people, but they all found him too difficult to read and digest. But for me, his words were so simple and touching. It took me less than a second to understand after reading his sentences. From the very first encounter with him in a remote corner of a bookstore, it only took me less than a week to finish three of his books. I could not help but kept on reading like mad. I just could not have enough of him. Each sentence of him meant a whole new world to me. I was like a young kid who one day opened his eyes and saw earth from the space. K's teaching completely changed the way I looked at the world and my own life. If I have to choose a religion, K is my religion though I know perfectly well he is not and it is me who is.

Franz Kafka

Orhan Pamuk

I don't like using the letter K, because whenever I start using them, with no very much valid reasons, Franz Kafka and Orhan Pamuk's figure will pop up in my mind. I know the main character Ka in Pamuk's novel 'Snow" was named Kafka's witness K. Well, in Kafka's novel, anyname can be anyone's name. Mr X, Mrs Y? Name loses its social value when the existence takes its weight in life.

Writing with a burning hand!

Time moves extravagantly slowly in Kazo, perhaps in Africa as a whole. Every day seems to consist more than merely twenty four hours. When the weather is hot and humid, I feel not to move so the time is spent in counting seconds; when it is chill and the wind is blowing, I tend to take up a novel, laying on the seat in front of the centre, enjoy some of my private time and world. I still have not finished my novel though it is long and interesting. I always read two or three chapters before I go to sleep with great tiredness, but revived imaginations.

My hand has shown no signs of getting better, but it can move freely if not naturally. I gave up updating the website for today due to the slowness of the Internet, instead, I decided to write a new post on my blog, explaining things which have not been written down.

Two volunteers from Brita lom have started working with us twice a week from this Monday. They came in the morning and left at around four in the afternoon. One of the ladies was keen on Children's activities, so we arranged lots of kids in the centre taking part in her activities; another one was interested in visiting families in the community, so I sent some local volunteers to assist her in carrying out her job. They have worked fantastically and really brought some fresh and amazing air into the centre-new activities for the kids.

John and I went to visit several school this afternoon, trying to establish some partnerships. We got to know in the end that all kindergartens and primary schools will start their terms in two weeks time. The ladies from Brit olam nay have to work with the kids in the centre for another two weeks before they can be transferred to some local schools.

I have got two young puppies yesterday afternoon from a local lady. They were so lovely and noisy. The problem was they were to young to be manually fed and they barked all through the night to look for their mum. I woke up once each hour during the night, trying in vain to calm them down. In the end, I put them into the box they came with, and locked them into another room where the noise they made could barely be heard from where I slept. I went there to see them this morning and found them sweetly sleeping. However, I, under many people's persuasion, finally decided to send them away since I will not spend another night torturing myself in the same way.

The construction of the chicken factory has been moving swiftly. I hope it will be finished in two days' time for the best. Madame Josephine consulted with some companies today where she found out that the earliest time at the moment of getting six hundred broilers is in late October. I hope we will have some luck in tomorrow's trying.

Did I mentioned though I burned my hand, people enjoyed my cooking?
My Guests were: Madame Josephine, Buba, Ma Buba, John and Timothy.

That's all for today. I think I should go and read some novels...

No new posts...in several days

No new posts in few days.

I have just burned my hand when cooking...

Some Notes

To lead is to sacrifice one's life for others without losing one's belief on oneself- the belief of creating a better life for all of us.


Only what one is doing matters, since what one will do has always to be valued later in life.

How can you be called trustworthy when your personal emotion gets in the way of two different people? How can you be called sincere when people around expecting a better mood from you this time rather than a constant attitude since you met?

The VCT in Kazo Mixed School

This is probably going to be the most difficult post I have ever written, because it is always hard to recall something one, at the time, was to busy and exhasusted to remember.

I woke up at half past seven, arrived at the site fifteen minutes before the scheduled starting time of the testing. The testing team was late, so I spent most of my idling time there talking to the headmaster of the school who seemed to know nothing about the event. Just before I we got to know each other, the testing team arrived in a small black car which the back doors were broken and had to be opened from inside through the window. I immediately turned into a groundman who carried the chairs and  desks around with them and within the school. As soon as the last dust we blew up from moving the furnitures settled on the ground, the team of our local volunteers arrived elegently with Madame Mabel.

After settling everyone in, the testing began with already around thirty people in the waiting room. The testing team was soon found out to be too small to be able to carry out the job properly, so Madame Josephine and a local volunteer from us were sent into the main hall as counsellors. The process speeded up for a while until testing facilities started to running out so the test had to stop at the time. one person from the testing team went back to their centre and brought back more books and needles after thirty minutes. And that was in the afternoon already when people continued coming in as flowing water. After buying twelve big bottle of water and distributed them evenly to the people in the waiting room with small local plastic bags, I decided to join the counsellor's team with John as my Luganda intrepreter.

There was a young man around 26 came in with a football trumpet in his left hand. He sat down with an attitude which made John and I laugh. He started telling his story upon my request. I then got to know he was having six girfirends. Before I even asked his the question, he asked me by saying, "What can I do if I find out I'm HIV positive," before I was able to find a gap to answer him, he continued, "you know, I have not been feeling well for the whole week last week, I felt really sick, so that's why I'm here to do the test" John and I laughed in a friendly way. I was in fact dying of laughing in my heart. The way he described himself was too funny to be neglected. He was not so serious in telling his story but had shown us a sincere face. The good thing was, in the end, he was tested negative.

The day finished rather slowly. I reached the centre absolutetly exhausted. I felt like I was too tired to sleep and too abnormal to be counscious.

Washing..Lots of Washings...A Laundry Lady Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought about recording this down yesterday night, but was too tired to do so. After I finished writing my last post yesterday, I found out I had left 14 clothes waiting to be washed in the water since the day before. Although I was deadly exhausted, I had to do it somehow. so, at twelve o'clock in the night, I started washing my clothes. After a painful hour and a despairing half, I finished washing all of them, apart from one of my trousers for which I was had absolutely no interest to touch under the moon, and hung them neatly at the back of the centre. My hands were seriously burning in the end. I then went to sleep uneasily thinking about my trousers which were still in water with cleaning powder.

Tomorrow will be a big day-the VCT is to take place in Kazo Mixed. I hope there gonna be lots of people coming to do the test. However, we still need to do some door-to-door visits through out the day tomorrow.

All materials for the chicken factory have been purchased today. The only thing left for now is waiting it to be built by the end of tomorrow, hopefully. We also need to book the chicks tomorrow.

Mac said taking care of the broilers is the top priority of all of us. If anything happened to the broilers, we will not be able to fill the deficit caused by the not-up-to-standard timbers.

Please excuse me for not updating the News section on the website. I am really busy and the internet here has never wanted to cooperate!

I'll try hardly next time to make my post more readable, rather than sounding like a pure agenda...

By the way, when it comes to disciplinary matters, I am the one who plays the bastard. Mac, dear mac, will act as my most sincere supporter behind the front line. So, I shared with him a saying during lunch today: "Glory to the dead, life to the living"

It is deadly true sometimes...Please don't take it seriously!

Not With...

Just don't feel like sleeping when the thoughts today has not yet been put on paper.

The biggest issue today was the chicken factory which had given us a big deficit to fill in and a terrible headache to cope with(I think Mac will understand what I meant by HEADACHE). We have calculated the timbers needed based on their standard sizes, but the actual ones turned out to be not so up to standard. So we have to get more timbers if we want the factory to have a roof. The huge deficit really upset us all. When the sky started to dim, Madame Josephine and I went through the complex budget again trying to cut some costs and save some money to fill in the gap. And we made it after a long discussion and negotiation.

Volunteers' training has been going smoothly. There was one lady called Lilian who talked to 405 community members in just 2 hours time. I did not believe in the beginning and was totally impressed in the end. Tomorrow I  will get up at around six and take a cold shower(this is my biggest nightmare so far have been discovered, so I usually try to get out of my bed as late as possible and take shower even later to let the sun warm up the water box a little bit, though I knew the water was just psychologically warmed up when I started gaining strength as the day goes). I will then go and oversee the mobilisation. Tomorrow will be of great importance for the final number of participants in the HIV test on Friday. We need to have the factory built by the end of tomorrow, so I need probably to go to the city as well.

By the way, anyone wants to join my choir which is having practices every Tuesday, from six thirty to eight thirty, and Saturday, from four to six?

I'll post some photos tomorrow...not today...not with this internet speed..not with getting up early tomorrow... not with having to turn on my camera, plugging in the cable and clicking on My Computer to find the drive...not with...you name it!

Some Notes, Hope Won't Cause Much Trouble!

I am the kind of person who rarely writes things down during the day. So by the time the day finishes, I would end up struggling about recalling the day. Now is the time when I tried to recall but could not help but staring at the monitor and writing down words you just read.

Oh yes, I have spent several hours today trying to make some changes for the website. Well, I have to say the  result was not so good....

Ok, in several days time, the chicken factory will be finished. The constructing person asked for 20 extra iron sheets to cope with the new design we agreed on, which upset everyone. We just simply son'e have enough fund. The solution in the end was to take extremely good care of the broilers which would be sold in 12 weeks' time to cover the exceeding cost.

Local volunteers' training session has been going on quite well. They were asked to mobilise the community a one part of their training. Although we cooperates with the district this time, it does not provide any fund for our mobilisation. We are in big deficit now. I think I will ask Madame Mabel to stop eating until this Friday to cut some costs!

Timothy received his heavy parcel, full of toys, books and all kinds of gifts, from Orna today. He was so excited when he opened it, though Mac looked even more excited. You may agree with me but looking at the photos below. I received also a small and light parcel from China. The medicine I ordered has arrived. What a contrast!

Please do not forget to vote according to the pictures in the post below. And please vote Mac even your hearts tell you no, no, NO! He was upset by the poll...did I say he voted himself? Oh, no.......

 

The First Ever KICVOP Poll

You may use the polling gadget on the right. According to the photos below, who has worked the hardest today?

Poultry Business Started!!!

Mac and Matovu went to get materials this morning for the factory. The money spent was a little bit over budget, so I blamed mac for not taking Madame Josephine with them, who, according to the legend told by Mac, once only paid 2500 for a bota which would have taken anyone else 4000.

We got timbers and nails this morning. I'm not sure what we will have tomorrow since I will be conducting the training session. (My God, I haven't start writing my monthly report..Sorry Mac if you happened to read this)

It's over midnight now in Kazo, so I'd better go to sleep soon as I have to wake up at seven tomorrow. A sorry and a thank you to Michal, the one who asked me to take a rest during the weekend for which I did not realise and who sent us a beautiful gift! I'll post a photo of it when we hang them up. This time, I'll just post some photos taken today. Those photos were taken by me who escaped the hard labour by claiming myself as a necessary professional photographer!

Btw, I went to John's niece's birthday party this evening. I'll post the photos tomorrow!

Have a good night everyone!

Kazo Community Choir

Kazo Community Choir was officially started yesterday. We had also a successful practice. With around 12 members at the time, we rehearsed the song Dona Nobis Pachem in parts and rounds. Choir members seemed to enjoy it so much, even after the two-hour rehearsal, individual singings can still be heard in the room. Next practice will take place next Tuesday, from half past eight in the evening to half past eight. We are expecting more members to join next time.

All choir members have been conveyed of the goal of giving Christmas carol services by December in, possibly, several churches. What this means for all the members is-hard working, hard working and hard working!

I will post some photos of the choir next time!

A Reminder for Myself!

I think I have promised some A Level Students in the UK that I would write a revision guide for their two-year economics course. Maybe I should start it as soon as possible.

Mili asked me yesterday for teaching her commerce, I responded by asking her how come she just assumed I knew commerce. She told me it was Mac who said so. That reminded me about the days in college, where I helped students with all kinds of subjects I had never learned...

With Timmy and John

I fetched Timmy from school yesterday and started hosting him in the centre. He is a lovely boy, reticent but intelligent. He is excited when talking about football, a subject I know nothing about. When he asked me which team I supported, I had to choose a name to respond. However uninterested in football, I had to think about which team to say since I had not had any good feeling about Manchester United though I was scheduled to visit their stadium twice in Manchester.

I learned, on the way back to the centre, Timmy liked movies, so I immediately decided to take him for a movie in Garden City, a place where the best cinema is located and where the most Muzhugu is gathered. In my heart, I wanted so much to watch Inception, currently a bit hit in America, but I have Timmy with me. In the end, I chose to watch Toy Story 3 though he told me earlier that he loved scientific fantacies. But as an adult and his acting father, I had to do what was best for him. If he was my own son, I would still take him to watch Toy Story 3. To be a responsible father meant I had to watch the movie all over again as I had watched it online days ago. With soda and popcorns in hands, he enjoyed it so much.

After the movie, while we were strolling down the complex, a toy store came into my sight. As an adult with a ten-year-old kid, the instinct is to avoid the store for the good of the kid, so he will not end up asking things all the time, but I went it with though whole heart saying no. I gave myself an excuse-today is special since Timmy is starting his holiday and he needs something to play with when he is free. One can always find reasons so justifiable that even oneself is afterwards confused about where the whole reasoning process started. In the end, If your own kid is happy, then you are satisfied. After a long selection, walking back and forth many times, Timmy finally chose a electronic car with a remote control-a complete luxury for african kids. But I'm his acting parent, so it was not a luxury for him.

We then went to have dinner on the ground floor of the complex. The place was called Pizza Hut, a name written in a different shape from what we see in the west for the sake of the copy right. Timmy told me his favorite food was pizza and I was so glad to hear that. He told he there was another place up there where pizza can be found, though I had no idea where he was pointing at.

I sent John to buy a battery for Timmy's remote control while we were waiting to be served. While he was absent, I secretly put some chilli source on his plate. I knew so well that he hated the chilli for which he calle it his enemy, but I just wanted to trick him for the second time after the first time he tricked himself some days back. After he cawme back, I told him to try the special source which Timmy and I all had tried. Timmy agreed my statement in silence with a face of mischief. John tried and then he cried.

Tasks Ahead!

Next week, maybe the week after as well, we will be really busy. The reason is (a) we will start the training session for new and old local volunteers on Monday, lasts until Saturday next week, (b) we will carry out the VCT in Kazo in cooperation with Wakiso district next Friday, (c) we will receive nearly hundreds of kids daily in our centre from this week since it is already holiday time and (d) we will start constructing the poultry factory this week.

For the VCT, we are targeting at mobilising as many adults and children as possible. Last time, when working with A-Z, we mobilised over six hundreds. We are looking at a thousand this time. I will schedule one and a half hour everyday from next Monday as practical training time for all local volunteers to go down to the community where they will start promoting the test. I will, very likely, call volunteers from Brto lam to help with the work here. The good thing of working with the district, instead of an organisation, is that the testing will be conducted more frequently through out the year and those HIV-affected individuals will be taken good care of. This is a big achievement for KICVOP. I need a holiday for that!

I have been looking in vain for a piano in Kampala. Today will be the last chance for me to actually getting one. John an I will go to Musicland, a somewhat store where we hope to find something painted with black and white, to try out our last luck. My initial plan was to start a community choir and piano lessons for all the people willing to learn. If the piano cannot be found, I have to compromise on a keyboard, which means I will only start the community choir and postpone the piano lessons indefinitely until the surface of a piano.

Kazo Community Choir-I believe this will be the first community choir in Uganda. And music will in a way unite all community members without obvious effort.

When I looked up the website of Kampala Music School, the so-called best music academy in Uganda, I found all piano teachers there hold the same qualification as I do. So I then decided I should make the best use of my music knowledge here in Kazo. Let's see how far I can go with this.

About the Arts

Sorry to write here again about something irrelevant to KICVOP. Although this is the programme coordinator's blog, he also thinks about things other than the programmes.

I am always asked about how to listen to classical music, a topic for which myself struggled for years. I have to admit my lack of musical education when considering the professional knowledge required for answering this question. But I do sometimes despise the ways academias approach classical music, the ways which convey unnecessary ideas with the backup of considerable amount of professional knowledge. I was bewildered to read once about a study on how performers can keep their own parts in time with others in a quartet without a conductor. I was amazed by how those simple facts about music can be told elegantly in a scientific style. But what is the point of reconfirming scientifically the facts known by professional musicians? Well, I don't want to start the topic of attacking or defending the spirit of Renaissance, so I'd better stop here my complaints.

Thinking about classical music, too many subjects emerge in my mind simultaneously. It is true, probably to most other forms of the arts as well, that music cannot be only considered through music itself, but through other forms of the arts, such as paintings, literature, architecture and dancing. Maybe it is not necessary to learn music in order to appreciate paintings(though it helps in my case), but it is of great importance to know about paintings in order to understand classical music in a deeper sense. A conspicuous example is Debussy's compositions which are, cannot be more obviously stated abstractly, derived from expressionism in art. Of course, a musician has to learn about the structure, chords and composition techniques used in each of his piece in order to have a full understanding of his music, but that alone is still barely enough. One has to learn about the(forgive my lack of artistic jargons, but I'll try to explain my terms as clearly as possible within my own ability) strokes, the light and shade, and the micro and macro expressions in, for instance, Monet's paintings to understand the beginning of Debussy's Clair de Lune. When I played the piece for the first time on the piano sometimes back, all I thought about was the strokes, the colours and the differences between the detailed expressions when you stand close to a painting and the contrary effect you receive when standing farther. (I will not, however, comment on the pointillism by itself musically!!)

Likewise, the lack of knowledge on architecture will to great extent disadvantage one's potential in understanding music. I was one time talking to a friend who was very keen on architecture, about Baroque music . In the end, he asked me, "are we talking about those extravagant baroque buildings, or about music?" I laughed while responded, "probably more about you, less about me" He thought I knew something about the history of architecture, in which case I knew nothing about. I just told him what knew about architecture through music-its extravagance and irregularity with great balance and structural importance, even more so than Rococo and Classical Era, though possesses much more creative freedom in a sense. The talk with him helped significantly in my understanding of architecture but, unfortunately, not his music.

I remembered each time how classical music was mentioned in literature. Some of them were appropriate, others were just like buying unnecessary decorations for an abandoned room to demonstrate its liveliness. Milan Kundera addressed several times about Beethoven and even includes some of his manuscripts in his writings. They fit well in his writings as some kind of feeling was thus expressed as underlines which, in another way, might not be able to be expressed at all. I think it was four to five years ago I read Kundera's works in which he mentioned how he was taught by his piano teacher about Beethoven when he was a boy, "why he laid grass down let you to walk? Because there is a huge tree awaiting in front" It was too obvious a way to conclude Beethoven's style, but it fitted so well in his writings. Needless to say, Friedrich Nietzsche's 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra" was a book based on music first of all. Its strength comes from the musical sense it made in German. We can hardly figure about this when it is translated. I was bored by its Chinese version six years ago and am still not satisfied with an English version I have now with me. However, Richard Strauss provided an alternative way for me to peek into Zarathustra's German version. His orchestration work under the same name as Nietzsche's book is another great example of the integration between music, literature, history and, most important, philosophy-the short opening part of the huge piece already outlined Nietzsche's idea of the Cycle. Another example for me was Jean Cocteau's 'Diary of an Unknown' which I read twice years ago. I have all the reasons to believe the music sense within his diaries would be more magnificent if they were in French, instead of Chinese which is the language which makes some sense to me. (Now I realised one thing that it was not my fault of not understanding some of the books I read in Chinese sometimes back, it was the translators themselves did not understand and translated them with twisted meanings. It is of interest to note that I learned Chinese through foreign books which were translated into Chinese which were, obvious, weird in Grammar. Then I learned English through speaking and listening rather than reading and writing, so my whole language system turned into chaos.)

Well, well, well. It was a quite long journey, though I haven't yet felt tiredness. I choose to stop here and to reflect what I just wrote, and correct, possibly, some grammar mistakes inevitably appear each time I write!

N/A

Mac went for a conference; John went for a wedding; Mebol went to attend a funeral.

I stayed for the interviews which will take place in an hour. I'm expecting over ten people to come and several of them running away before coming into the centre.

What I am thinking now? I'm just trying to figure out what to think about at the moment!

Daily Thinking

I cannot bear the days without the arts. In three days, I will have stayed here for a full month without being accompanied by music. I am dying because of the thirst for music. John and I walked around Kampala for the whole day trying to find a proper piano store which did not exist at all. I was, in the end, terribly tired both mentally and physically. I want to compose something on the piano, something which is to get out of me and can only be expressed through music.

For the past few days, I have, for the first time in my life, dedicated myself on reading books. Sometimes I even wonder how I came this far by reading so few books(in fact, I have never actually finished reading any book), receiving so little education either academically or musically, and ruining so many social relationships. So I am therefore sympathetically proud of myself reading Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's The First Circle for which I determined to continue until the last page.

I do feel grateful for being granted the ability to appreciate beauties in life, though not always creating them. To appreciate simplicity is, so far, the only complexity worth pursuing in life.

Can You Hear Me?

I have a manuscript in front of me-Can You Hear Me?-composed by Bob Chilcott. It is a choir song, describing the beauty of the world seen through the eyes of deaf child. I got this manuscript from Mrs King, who is a friend of Bob Chilcott. While doing her research in Estonia, she joined the musical festival there as well. She was stunned by the majestic view of the festival where twenty thousands teenagers gathered from all over the country singing together in the same choir. The song they sang that day was Can You Hear Me?

I never thought about looking it up on Youtube. What I only did was to went through it on piano with our choir back in the college. And it touched me. The piano part is so delicate and extremely beautiful. When it comes to the chorus, heaven descends. It is very rare for a popular-styled piece to touch me so deeply. But it let me 'See'.

The link on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEHNZibqhWw

The lyrics:

I look around me as I grow

I'd like to tell you all I know

I see life with all its energy

The city streets, the rush time

This is my world, it's where I like to be

So much to see, so much to find

I sometimes sit and wait a while

See the sun, it makes me smile

Can you see it

Can you see it too

I feel life with all its energy

The joy of waking every day

This is my world, it's where I like to be

So much to do, so much to say

I sometimes sit and feel the sun

Its warmth is there for everyone

Can you feel it

Can you feel it too

My world is a silent one

But it's enough for me

I hear you through your hands

The movement sets me free

But it could be a special thing

To hear your voice

To hear your sing

Can you hear me

Can you hear me too

Agenda

Mac is leaving for Kenya this evening, coming back possibly next Thursday. I will oversee everything in the centre while he is away.

I probably need to go with John today to register with the National Community Library Association. I have filled in the form in Kabala gala several days ago. My plan is to make a huge community library in our centre where students, disadvantaged children and adults in Kazo can come and improve their reading skills. The reading culture here is very low. One of the reason for that is there is simply no libraries in schools I have been to. Roughly, there are more than 40 primary and secondary schools fall within the walking distance from our centre. We currently have around 300 books and that, I think, are a good sign but not enough for a library. I don't know how much the NCLA can help. but I will try out every opportunity here. I will make sure the library is big enough and up running before I left here. in a medium term, I would like to charge schools with little annual fees for their students to use our library for free. The precondition is our library has to be big enough in the first place. The money received would then be used to sustain the library. Of course, we will provide reading lessons as well in the library with the help from international volunteers. The good thing of having those schools slightly charged for the use of the library is that whenever we ask government for funds to make this library permanently free, those schools will be first ones to help us on that case. In a longer term, I want this library to be mobile. We could then carry hundreds of books by a vehicle and go around Kazo. John told me I was turning Kazo into London. I was puzzled since I was not even sure we had those things in London.

I will meet the HIV focal person on Friday to discuss everything related to our HIV works in Kazo. I was told that we had missed loads of opportunities by not having close contacts with him. However, I have been to the district council twice where I was kept waiting. I will go with Mabol very early in the morning this time in order to catch him in his office. I'm not sure how much he can help on fundraising for our HCT/VCT programme, but it is harmless to try him out.

Another good news is I have secured the funds for starting the poultry business. I think we will finally build the chicken house behind our centre, on a large barren field which belongs to us. We are looking at 300 layers, 100 broilers and 40 local breeds at the moment. The full capacity pf the house is to accommodate 1500 chicks in total. I want to materialise that number by next year. There is not much we can do about the number of the layers since it is proved to be more expensive to feed layers of different ages at the same time. So I think the best way would be to top up the number by buying broilers. They are raised for 8 weeks and sold.

I will pick Timmy(Timothy) up next Wednesday. He will live in the centre until the opening of school. I will need also to scan all his documents( the same for Mili) and forward them to Orna, his mama(his sponsor). Orna and I had some correspondents several days ago. She is a really nice lady. I have to admit it is people like her keep me moving forward and putting personal interests aside to dedicate myself on the future of the community.

Confrontation and its Resolution

It was a very long confrontation two days ago. But after the bringing down of the curtain, no applause was heard in the hall. That was the defining moment to me in terms of its eternal beauty. It gave space for recalling the whole musical adventure in just a few seconds.

So, I wrote down the following words when the silence started becoming alive in the hall.

"It was so beautiful to hear the extra notes which did not exist.

They came from silence and faded into silence.

And life continues into silence.

The audience were moved by such.

That's why it's so hard to break the silence in the beginning

and keep the silence at the end

without being interruped by the applause. "

Daniel Barenboim said the music either starts in silence or interrupt the silence.

Two pieces instantly emerged in my mind after the confrontation.

Elgar's Cello Concerto in E minor-A breaking into silence

Brahms' German Requiem- A coexisting with silence

I remembered myself once talking about the utter loneliness which was naturally-integrated in his cello piece. Before I went to the UK, I regarded the piece as British style, whereas in the UK, three years after my first listening to it, I felt the strong sense of loneliness. That was the time I stood outside of the Leominster Cathedral with Mr King. He mentioned the terrible sadness in his piece, while I mentioned the utter loneliness derived from his own ambiguity of his musical identity. The saddest thing can happen to an artist is his own work not being appreciated by his contemporaries. It is acceptable for geniuses to be misunderstood, who are destined to work on what they enjoy the most, knowing their work will stand the test of time. Elgar is not completely a genius but an amazingly-gifted composer who had a chance in history to stretch his talent to the apex. That's why he adopted the language which was so unfamiliar to composers in continental Europe in his time. Even today, his language is exotic to me, in the sense that it is a language which seems only belongs to him. However, I read him in a much easier way than I read Schubert who spoke, inevitably due to his genius this time , his own language. Elgar has showed me the way to something I longed for when words failed to lead their way-The reserved gentleness.

It is well-known,of course, that Jacqueline du Pre's playing had a kiss from God.

Talking to John Again

I was glad to hear John saying yesterday afternoon I 120% deserved my job. When I told him in the end I was making 19 this September, he told me to "fuck off". He firmly believed my age was between 22 to 26.

When we were talking something about my past, he asked me why I did the things I did. I hesitated for a while in answering his question. Then I replied,

"If my sacrifice can make others' lives better, why should I not thus sacrifice? If all those benefits can be created and received by others for only me is to be blamed, is it not the best thing on earth for me to do?"

I can hardly tolerate the truth of a zero-sum game in life or an occasion where people "hurting others by torturing themselves"

The Language of Infinity

Conflicts are derived when issues are confronted, nothing more. When the moment fades away, no conciliation is then needed. Conciliation is not a sign of confession, but an act of creating peace out of the ever-lasting war in mind. The moment peace is cherished for its vulnerability, the old woe starts to be constantly renewed.

But there is nothing of which is to be, or can be, blamed. The kneel in Warsaw can be the same as the shamelessness of hands on the crown, though much less severe. Life moves on, with all its promises made for the future. I say, fulfill the promises in the past and promise on the infinity. Let Confrontation exist while promise last.

A Sudden Death

James Both passed away this morning. We were all shocked. Mac and I went to hospital talked with him several days ago. That was the ay he went back home from the hospital. We thought everything would be fine and had planned to meet him in Kazo.

But this morning, everything changed.

Attention!

My laptop callapsed this morning. So it is unlikely I will be able to update here frequently.

I apologise in advance.